Welcome, weary wanderer... I've been watching you since your initiation.  Beheld your search for answers in the twisting halls of our temple. You've peered through the Eye of Zombo and glimpsed what this world really is, but you want more don't you?  To control your fate in a world where fortune and misfortune are decided for you... well, I'll let you in on a secret, they're just two sides of the same coin, and we're the lucky bastards who decide how it lands. Won't you join we few Fortuitous Unfortunates as we pull the strings and conduct the fates? The only way to adjust your fortune is to come inside and play.

The curtain draws back and curiosity abounds as you set your adjusting eyes on a dimly lit parlor. Faces painted with ominous, conspiratorial auras look pleased at your arrival. "Welcome, welcome," a mysterious voice within the crowd beckons. "Take a seat! Have a drink! Join us in our games!" A chair is thrust upon you by unknown hands, and you cautiously sit down as the spirits pass around in a frenzy of celebration. A Ouija board upon the table before stares silently in waiting. “Tonight, we shall decide the fates of the many!" The voice continues. "The Earth spins upon its axis, but it is WE who grant it momentum; we gods amongst men decide all. WE are the creators of both fortune and misfortune! We… are the Fortuitous Unfortunates.

The time is nearly upon us, my darling creature. The seasons are turning. The dreaded heat is finally behind us, and leaves have begun their golden transmogrification. As the hands of a clock tick by and by, the sun retreats earlier each day, allowing the night to beckon us out from the shadows once more. Summer is no more, and the autumnal glow of the new season means only one thing - Theatre Bizarre is near, and the Fortuitous Unfortunates even nearer. We shall see you within our unholy halls.